01
A break-up
Hers, or her sister’s, or her best friend’s. For the week after, when everyone has gone back to their own lives.
Limited editionDrama Detox · Chapter one
Teakwood & Sage
“It wasn't you, it was his ego. And ego burns exceptionally well.”
Limited edition · Boxed, ready to give · Extracts from Amazon reviews
It arrives in its own black box — the kind you can hand over without apologising for the wrapping. Send it straight to her address; we will not put a price on the paperwork.
Chapter one names the person. Chapter two names the pattern. Most people end up with both. See Red Flag Alert.
A letter from the jar
Tuesday. Late.
Let me be honest with you from the start, because you have had enough of the other thing.
I am a candle. I will not fix this.
I have no advice. No five steps. No opinion on whether you should reply, and no interest in the screenshots. What I have is forty hours, and I am willing to spend all of them in this room with you.
I know what goes on here. I know you have read the same message four times looking for a different meaning in it. I know you told someone you were fine, out loud, and that they believed you. I am not going to bring any of that up again.
So here is my case. I am teakwood and sage. Green, grounding, a little clove, a little cedar. Nothing sweet — you are not in a sweet mood and I am not going to pretend otherwise. Eight percent fragrance oil, which is my way of saying you will notice me from the doorway.
I come in a black jar with one line written on it, and the line is not about him. It is about you having been right the whole time.
Light me and the room changes. That is the full extent of my powers, and I would rather tell you now than let you find out later.
When I am finished, wash me out and keep me. Put your rings in me. I would like that.
— Narcissist Recovery
Written by the candle. Edited by nobody.
The script
Different man, same lines. Cross out every one you've been handed. Nothing is sent anywhere — this stays between you and the jar.
0 lines heard — Cross out the ones you know by heart.
Burn the script — £21.99
The scent
Blended by a professional fragrance house at 8% — high enough that you notice it before the wick is lit, and enough to carry across a room once it is.
The first thirty seconds. Sharp, green, unsentimental — the smell of opening a window you have kept shut.
Where it settles. Spiced, dry, a little medicinal — clarity rather than comfort.
What is still there in the morning. Teakwood and vetiver — the part that stays after everything else has gone.
Made to be given
Most candles are bought for a birthday. This one gets bought for the moments nobody prints a card for.
01
Hers, or her sister’s, or her best friend’s. For the week after, when everyone has gone back to their own lives.
02
Nobody sends a card for this. Something warm on the evening the paperwork clears says more than a message would.
03
The first night in a place that is hers alone. Something to light before the boxes are unpacked.
04
The quietest decision she will ever make, and the hardest. Mark it.
05
For the friend who is dating again and reading the signs properly this time.
06
She said no and did not apologise for it. That deserves more acknowledgement than it usually gets.
07
Especially the ones ending in zero, and especially the first one after everything changed.
08
Arrives boxed, under budget, and considerably more interesting than bath salts.
09
For the friend who took the 2am calls and never once said I told you so.
10
Christmas without his family’s opinions. Something to light on the quietest, best evening of the year.
11
Six months in and she finally has a word for it. That is worth more than a card.
12
No occasion at all. The most common reason people buy this one is for themselves.
And the one you buy for yourself. No occasion required.
Extracts from Amazon reviews
★★★★★
“Not just a candle — a relationship recovery experience.”
★★★★★
“It looks nice and expensive.”
★★★★★
“A thoughtful self-care gift.”
Burn it right
Two to four hours the first time, until the melted wax reaches the edge of the glass. This sets the memory and prevents tunnelling.
Trim to 5 mm before every burn. Cleaner flame, less soot, no marked glass.
Never burn for more than four hours at a time. Let the candle cool completely before relighting.
Remove trimmings and debris from the wax. Burn away from draughts, vents and open windows.
Stop burning when about 10 mm of wax remains, then wash out the jar and keep it.
May cause an allergic skin reaction. Harmful to aquatic life with long lasting effects. Full details on the jar.
Never leave a burning candle unattended · Keep away from children and pets · Burn on a heat-resistant surface
Go deeper
Forty hours, one line on the jar, and absolutely no advice.
Burn his ego — £21.99